How To Cut a T-Shirt

 

I acquired this T-shirt from an ex-lover friend.

Well technically, an ex ex- lover friend.  You know, the kind that you reconvene with every of couple years after having forgotten that you basically share nothing in common, but fondly remember the enjoyment of kissing?

All he ever wanted to do was talk about youtube videos.

All I ever wanted to do was talk about my feelings.

The one thing we always connected on was the couch, literally.

Occasionally we would meet up and make dinner.  While preparing the meal, he would talk to me about youtube videos.  I would listen, smile, and drink white wine.  Then we would eat dinner.  During dinner, I would drink white wine while listening to him talk about youtube videos. When we were finished, we would sit on the couch where I would attempt to talk about my feelings.  Around two minutes in, I would realize my effort was futile and give up. 

Then we would make-out and have a sleep over. 

On one of the nights while we were cuddling, he whispered in my ear, “Just so you know, I don’t want a relationship, even though I’m kissing you right now.  It’s not you, it’s me.  Even if it was my dream girl, I wouldn’t want one.”  It took me a while to respond.  Not because I was shocked or hurt, but because the thoughts going through my mind were, “Wow.  For one, that’s bullsh*t  buddy, and I don't necessarily want a relationship either. For two, what I do want is the dope ass T-shirt that you left here (which has been conveniently hiding in my hamper) that I now have no qualms about cutting up and never returning. Thank you.

It may not have been a substantial relationship but what I got out of it was a sweet T-shirt and lots of kisses.  Keeping with my post hippie ideal of conscious consumerism, it’s always good to reduce, reuse, and recycle.  Even if it is an old boyfriend, a T-shirt, or empty Adam’s peanut butter jar.

How-to make your old lover’s or otherwise dope ass T-shirt new again

You will need:

• ·         Basic sewing skills
• ·         A Sewing machine
• ·         Chalk or a fabric marker
• ·         Dress pins
• ·         An old tank top for a template
• ·         Garment scissors
• ·         Large or Xtra large T-shirt

1. Lay T-Shirt on Flat surface

2. Cut collar off

3.Cut Both sleeves off. 

4.Cut both shoulder seams to seperate the front and back of the T-shirt

5. Take template and fold in the middle and line up both outer seams.  Do this only to the front piece of your cut T-shirt. You are making a pattern out of the flat piece of fabric that you will use to match exactly to the back piece of the T-shirt

6.Using dress pins, pin template midline to T-shirt midline and trace the border with chalk. Cut length accordingly.  Leave a 1/4" seam allowance or you wont have enough room to fit into your top! Remove template and pins. You should be left with something that resembles this.

7.Cut out the pattern very carefully.  If you are a precise and accurate gal/guy (I'm more haphazzard) feel free to iron the fabric and measure to your little heart's content.

8.This is what the front of the pattern should look like

9. Repeat the pinning and cutting process with the back piece.

Presto! Now, sew up the shoulder and side seams to finish your new Dopedie dope dope T-shirt/tank.

Golden Rose Sugar Scrub

  

Another Vogue inspiration.....

This sugar scrub is the easiest thing to make.  I used to work at a fancy spa where we would charge over one hundred dollars for a simple sugar scrub!  The worst part was that we were using this awful refined sugar scrub made locally by a psuedo health store.  The stuff was cheap and smelled super sweet and horrible...

This is the correct and affordable way to make a scrub that you can feel good about putting all over your feet, buns, elbows or wherever else you need to exfoliate.

You will need:

An old empty mason jar, or a new one

Organic unrefined evaporated cane juice

Dried yellow rose petals

Grapeseed, sesame, or almond oil

 Pour sugar into the bottom of the Jar.  I used an empty Ghee container.

 Layer some yellow roses, then more sugar, then more roses.

When the container is full pour oil on top, saturating every layer.  I used a custom massage oil consisting of sesame oil, rose hips, and grapeseed.

 

 Voila!  You are now finished with your scrub.  Feel free to add Therapeutic Grade essential oil.  I will add bergamont and Ginger to mine for warming. This Particular scrub will do better with age as the essential oil of the roses infuses the carrierl.  If you are using organic veg oils, be aware that they will rot after 6 months or even sooner!  Enjoy.