So, I was inspired by an article that Gala darling recently posted about feminism and the patriarchy, specifically concerning the way we woman present ourselves to the world. You know, the good old wearing make-up and lipstick, heels, and skinny jeans mean that your intellect must be sub-par or at least less than average.
I would like to assume that it’s obviously sub-par of any thinking person to judge someone based on their appearance alone, but sadly, this is what happens much more of the time than not, and getting into that is a whole other issue.
To quote Ani Difranco’s Little plastic castles
about my image
like i come in two dimensions
like lipstick is a sign of my declining mind
like what i happen to be wearing
the day that someone takes a picture
is my new statement for all of womankind
Two dimensions sure…but I think that is generous. It is always easier to compare one thing to another, to make a very complex issue black and white. Why mainstream feminism feels the need to constantly point fingers and blame the patriarchy is beyond me. In a way, they are completely doing and buying in to the very thing they are against. Which is, giving men way more energy than they deserve when it comes to an issue that is purely feminine in nature, and that issue is creativity. We woman have wombs, we bear children, nurse them from our breasts and sacrifice our bodies for at least nine months .
Why don’t we focus on the extreme and innate creativity that we do have, rather than complaining that men ‘make ’us wear heels? How about we wear heals because they make us feel like sex pots, or taller and leaner, or because we want to? Common ladies, let’s get real with ourselves here. We really, really, are amazing conduits of the most primordial and primitive energy on earth.
In truth, I would not self identify as a feminist. I also don’t know many angry feminists or activists. What I do know is that when I was 16 I completely dropped out of the social sphere and it has been a long road finding my way back. I gave up shaving until I was 22 and just bought my first pair of heels(since my teens) a few months ago. My drop out was fuelled mainly by self-destruction and anger towards everyone and everything (including myself), not just society.
But society had a lot to do with it. My mother taught me that being a Barbie is all there is to being a girl and I guess when I finally started hanging around with my best friend and her righteous grey haired mother that I realized I’d been fed a bunch of bull. I started reading tons of eastern philosophy and esoteric books which led me to believe that everything in life was an illusion, including personal hygiene and clothes that were intact. And yes, I thought people who ‘looked good’ were shallow, which is clearly not something I gleaned from Buddhist texts. Hilarious right?
Now the women I call friends are real, raw,storming bolts of enigmatic sincerety. Real women, the kind that wear lipstick, the kind that would rather not, some of my friends are pierced and tattooed and others are the blondest, most conventional bitch*s on the block. Besides having me in common, what they all seem to adhere to is one thing. They know who they truly are.
These ladies are spicy, they have opinions and take care of themselves in the most real ways. They are confident achievers who get up when they are knocked down and learn from their life experiences. Every one of them have gifted me with some crazy wisdom or just some tidbits of what it means to be a girl. They’ve helped me get to know myself and we’ve braved the emotional depths of each other’s souls together.
None of these women have time to be concerned our angry towards the man for outdated and transparently subversive tactics that currently direct our social standards. They educate themselves on the matter and choose what is right and what works for them.
This is what feminism means to me. It has a lot to do with power, with embracing who you are and getting on it. Feminism is having knowledge and strength in yourself and knowing where your boundaries lie when it comes to personal communication, sex, work, or any other time when truth is an absolute in life. Truth is respect and love, and when shared between friends, can be divine.
If women have any problem in our society it is that we are intimidated by one another and constantly pit ourselves against each other. What a waste! We are all trying to get by, to find love and acceptance. It is a natural inclination to any social being.
What I think would be beautiful is if we could find the strength in ourselves, to ask questions, find positive friends, and have healthy meaningful encounters with other women that could help heal the parts of ourselves that we would rather not accept. This includes physical insecurities, psychological insecurities, and deep trauma we may or may not have experienced in early age or are still experiencing.
It’s not about being pretty and perfect, or a little grungy and angry. It’s about being real, even if those things are a part of that for you. Being a woman is a radical dance that cleanses the heart of post pubescent girls and brings us to a lighter brighter actualization of the role we play in nature and with each other. So here’s to growth, triumph, and boobalicious or boobyless babes everywhere!